Real Natural Seduction Last minute resistance, or LMR, as it’s known in the seduction community, is when you’re with a girl you met quite recently and you’re on the verge of sleeping together, when suddenly, she expresses strong doubts about going through with it. A lot of guys who study pick up methods and use them to bring girls home with them experience this frustrating situation. Yet other guys almost never have this happen. Why is that?
The issue lies mainly with the fact that these guys are using pickup techniques to begin with. It’s true that if a guy practices any system of pickup long enough, he’ll eventually start seeing some results. But it’s unfortunate because these guys learn and practice how to NOT be themselves for months or years, and intentionally toy with women’s emotions to get them attracted and invested in them (or the illusion of them). The psychological principles behind some of this stuff are very powerful and can certainly work. But then they get into the bedroom with these girls and something strange happens…
As sex draws near, her intuition begins to scream bloody murder for some reason. She begins to think «this guy seems cool but something’s kind of OFF about him…he’s too smooth or something. In fact, he was kind of too smooth all night. He knew the right things to say and how to say them and how to stand and flirt in a way that seemed…rehearsed or staged…and I don’t even know anything about him! Who is he? Does he even like ME or does he just want to get in my pants? Will he want to see me after this? What if he tells people we slept together…then everybody will think I’m a slut.»
While a woman is having all of these thoughts, the guy is mounting his anti LMR assault. He ignores her concerns, keeps turning her on, and tells her things he thinks she wants to hear. If she still doesn’t give it up, he can «freeze her out». This is where the guy completely halts the action. He may turn on the lights, go browse the internet, watch TV or just generally ignore her and pretend he’s totally turned off. The girl is obviously going to wonder what the hell just happened, at which point the guy is instructed to say he’s just not really into halfway sex; it’s either happening or not. Then he lets the girl come to him and begins to escalate again, supposedly with better results.
The reason that natural seducers rarely have this problem is because they are straight and direct with women from the very first. They don’t try to manipulate a woman into bed with them. They present themselves as they are without the PUA smoke and mirrors. And if they find a girl interesting enough, they invite her into bed and give her a choice every single step of the way. Why would a guy even want to go to bed with a girl who had doubts about wanting to sleep with him? Doesn’t a guy want a girl who WANTS to be with him? Who is totally excited and filled with wonder about this man and the possibility of kissing him, tasting him, feeling his warm breath on her neck under the sheets? The ironic thing is that a guy who really values connection and worships the sexual experience really WOULD be turned off by a girl who decided to come home with him, began getting naked and then stopped the guy. Didn’t she WANT to be there? The thing is that a lot of guys take girls home just because they’re hot, so they think that their guy friends would give them props for getting with a hot chick. What about going home with women that you genuinely find attractive? Women sense if a guy is with them because he wants to be or for some ulterior motive…and then guys complain about things like LMR!
Women are smart. They’re hip to all the pickup hijinks, and no matter how good a dude gets at this glamorized manipulation, women will always feel that something’s not quite right about a guy who does it. Their intuition rightly sends up red flags of mistrust when they feel like they might be used. And there’s the rub. Women – humans – fear and loathe being used. It means that they offer value in exchange for what they think is an equal value but instead get a counterfeit. This makes women feel dirty and resent men for generally being liars who will say anything just to fuck them. And they’re absolutely right to think so. We’re bringing it on ourselves fellas. If men were to begin showing up in the land of women NOT like some sort of Trojan horse, but as their authentic selves AND practice honesty as a matter of course, there would be no such thing as LMR. The thing about a guy who is direct, honest and unapologetic about his intentions is that a woman knows exactly what she’s getting with him. This explains the infamous «asshole» phenomenon in which women date asshole guys who at least have the balls to be who they are (even if it’s an asshole), say what they want, and settle for nothing less.
Even though a natural makes his intentions, whatever they may be, quite clear through his body language, tone of voice and other meta communication, it’s always good to let a woman know where you stand explicitly. That is, by telling her outright. There are a few things I routinely tell women because they’re too important to leave to implication, and since most women have never heard them come out of a guy’s mouth, I wouldn’t expect them to simply KNOW where I stand and definitely wouldn’t want them to assume the opposite. For instance, I always tell a woman right from the very start that I’ll never lie to her, never break my word once I’ve given it, never kiss and tell, and that I see other women. They need to know these things so that they can make an informed choice about whether or not to continue enjoying my company. I want a woman who WANTS to be with me. Anytime I feel some sort of emotional distance or discordance coming from a woman, I simply ask her about it.
One time, I went on a date to the beach with a very bright, sexy and interesting young woman. She came to meet me so she clearly wanted to explore the possibility of our lives entwining. We swam around and flirted and I wanted to be close to her but every time I tried to come closer she moved away. There was a weird vibe to it, like some invisible force was separating us and I just couldn’t get to the bottom of it. So, I just asked her about it! After a few minutes of beating around the bush, she explained that her good friend, a girl who I was also getting to know on a personal level (and with whom I’d made out), didn’t know about our beach date and she would feel guilty without first asking her how she felt about it. Once the cat was out of the bag, the air completely cleared. She informed me that were it not for her having to consider her friend’s feelings, we’d be back at my place or her place by now.
The point is that by the time things progress into the bedroom, a guy who’s been communicative and straight up about everything will almost never experience last minute resistance. It’s true that sometimes a girl isn’t ready to have sex on day 1 but if you like her and enjoy her company, try to understand where she’s coming from and don’t insist. In an a cool interview with Brent Smith and Zan, Brent says that «last minute resistance is first minute resistance», by which he means that being the right kind of guy prevents all of these minute issues because they are simply symptoms of something more fundamental, and fixing the root cause resolves the symptoms. Give a woman no reason to resist you and you’ll have no last minute resistance…simple!